Mindfulness for Healthy Coping

 Mindfulness, self-awareness, acknowledgement, and acceptance. These are qualities and practices that many modern-day experts promote as some of the keys to emotional and mental well-being.

They aren’t wrong. I’ve experienced the power of these practices at different times in my own life. Being self-aware, paying attention to what’s going on inside of yourself, acknowledging feelings and experiences and struggles all have helped me to grow in many ways over the year, pushing me out of my head and helping me to approach my problems with greater clarity.

It has been said that avoidance leads to pathology. When we distract ourselves in order to avoid feeling what we’re feeling, this causes problems. This is partly where our suffering begins. When we stay so busy that we don’t have the time to even notice what might be going on inside of us, this is an issue. When we know what we’re feeling (anxious, afraid, sad, exhausted, hurt, alone) but we don’t do anything to address or resolve it, we just make things worse.

I think it’s a sign of emotional and even spiritual maturity when we are able to be in the habit of paying attention to our feelings and then taking action to respond to them. Mindfulness and self-awareness are healthy practices, and I think they demonstrate the strength that has an individual has that empowers them to move beyond their struggles.

Rich Villodas talks about this in his devotional, “The Deeply Formed Life.” He writes that “interior examination is a way of life that considers the realities of our inner worlds for the sake of our own flourishing and the call to love well.” In the Psalms, he says, we see an example of King David acknowledging his own need for greater self-awareness and personal reflection, calling out to God for help in discovering what was truly happening inside of his own heart and mind. In Psalm 139, verse 23, David writes, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my thoughts!”

David understood the importance of being attuned to his own thoughts and feelings. The mind and the heart present tricky ground. At times, all kinds of emotions and ways of thinking get stirred up inside. From this psalm we see the importance of stopping to give attention to those things. Why? So that we can then be lead “in the everlasting way,” according to the same passage – the way that leads to an abundant and thriving life.

To go on our way to the “path to everlasting life,” we have to know what’s going on inside of ourselves that might be keeping us from that thriving and abundant life experience. And this happens wen we get into the regular habit of being self-aware, which I truly believe comes from the practice of mindfulness.

Mindfulness is simply defined as the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something. It’s a mental state that is achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and physical sensations.

In Psalm 139, David wanted God to search his heart and his thoughts, because he understood how vital it is for living well to truly know yourself first – to know what you’re feeling, what you’re thinking, what worries you’re experiencing, and what you find yourself struggling with in that particular moment of your life or day. And then, upon acknowledging these things, to take them in your hands and say, “Okay. What do I do with this? How can I move forward in my life even though these things are present?”

So, where do we even start?

Well, let’s look at someone who, in every way, has set an example for us, and was also faced with the same temptations and pressures of life that we face. Let’s look at Jesus for guidance and direction.

Luke 5:16 says, “But Jesus Himself would often slip away to the wilderness to pray.”

Jesus was busy. He was needed. He went about from town to town helping and serving and healing. No doubt he felt the pressure of having such a significant role in people’s lives. He had much work to do.

But He understood the incredible importance of regularly withdrawing and retreating to a quiet place in order to communicate with the Father. He wanted to maintain His connection, and I think He also wanted to keep an eye on His own mental and emotional and spiritual state. I think Jesus knew how easy it could be for Him to lose His sense of self, getting so caught up in being who others wanted Him to be. So, I think He went to the wilderness in order to do what David talked about in Psalm 139 – to regularly ask God to search His heart and know His thoughts and to become more attuned to what was going on inside of Himself.

To follow the example of Jesus, then, it’s important for us to get into a regular rhythm of retreating in order to reflect. This means that we set aside time – every day, hopefully – to get alone somewhere in order to reflect, to think, to tune into how we’re feeling at that moment. We might pray. We might journal. We might simply sit in stillness and silence. This time alone can happen in many different forms. Regardless of the activity, we keep in mind that mindfulness is really just the state of being conscious and aware of something. So, we practice being mindful of where we are at the present moment, what’s going on inside of us, and what our bodies and minds and hearts and experiencing.

The practice of mindfulness requires a bit of effort and some intentionality. And it all starts with an understanding that self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-love are vital to our emotional and mental health. If we want to do this human life well, experiencing a thriving and abundant existence rather than simply floating through the mud of life, we need the right rhythms and routines in place. Mindfulness can be one of those, as it fosters this deeper sense of self that is so vital to learning where and how growth needs to take place.